What do you call two gay bobs?

Ned Flanders' alma mater
Originally uploaded by unsure shot.

Oral Roberts.

I was watching the Colbert Report over a delicious reheated dish of veggie enchiladas when it was reported that Oral Roberts University (of Tulsa, Oklahoma) was going to this national basketball tournament thingy. Not only that, but as a #16 seed against #1 Memphis. Colbert lovingly told Memphis that they were going to have to bring it against a 900 foot Jesus.

Yes, just another religious fanatical concept that reminds me why I left Oklahoma. Along with Southern Baptists, drought, poor educational reform and state representative Sally Kern and Senator Tom Coburn. It is good to know that the ORU Golden Eagles will be served as a sacrificial lamb to the basketball gods (who, I discovered, reside in Mount Olympus otherwise known as Indianapolis).

ORU are like the Hadist Jews of Oklahoma. We don’t know that much about them, so we’re scared of them. And that fear results in unconfirmed stories of embellishment. For example, I heard that female freshman have strict curfews. But their counterparts are allowed to paint Tulsa scandalous with scalawag activities cloaked by night. I was unable to confirm these activities and, hence, protect the journalistic integrity of my blog.

However, I was able to find their code of honor, which outlines their commitment to attend required chapel, develop their bodies in the “required aerobics program,” and avoid “unscriptual Sexual Acts” with anyone outside of ceremonial marriage. I like that they capitalized Sexual Acts. It just adds more flair to it, no? Plus their campus looks like the Jetsons reside on the 23rd floor in the skyscraper that Jesus built. And you can’t get more freaky than that, right?

Oklahoma, I kid because I love. Plus I have to live in this city a little while longer and I don’t want them to ride me out of town. Just yet.

P.S. I promise not to write about sports any longer because I was raised better than this. The only sports that were broadcast in my home were the Wimbledon and the Grand Prix if that tells you what pseudo-European my parents were about sports. I know nothing about American sports, and I would like to keep it that way. Except for the Colts. I will always love the Colts.
P.P.S. I take the original postscript back…Indy 500 is in May. Y’all have to know how absolutely ridiculous that month is in Indianapolis.

P.S. Kruderand, if you’re reading this, don’t think I didn’t notice that you committed MySpace suicide. Give me a shout out at anarchic1 at yahoo dot com if you have the chance. Please?