Lesson One

Here is a list of items that I recently learned in hope that I can prevent the same faux pas for others. I share because I care. You’re welcome.

1. Gary Busey and Nick Nolte are not the same person.


2. I don’t know if you have this in your city or not - but on all the Indianapolis fast food chains there is a soundtrack of evil, cackly birds. For the longest time I thought this was some strange bird native to Indiana that lost its fruit loops. Turns out, it’s an Amazon bird call that is supposed to scare the bejesus out of tiny pestlike birds that hover and paint fast food joints with their poo.

3. The smell of jizz in the early summer is actually the blossoming of the ginkgo biloba tree. I would ask people about it, but they would look at me all crazylike and say, “I don’t know about the smell of jizz.” Bullshit, yes you do.

Which makes wikipedia's comparison of the ginkgo smell to "rancid butter" even funnier.