Aargh!
I am a little thinned out right now. Sleep and cubicle life are slowly seeping into each other, leaving my three-cup coffee morning a lucid experience of overwhelming frustration. Something has to give. My mood changes from sweet molasses to pickle juice in about two seconds, accentuated by either screaming or crying.
Can I tell you how excited I was to meet a Potawatomie from Oklahoma last week? On the same day I spilled mayonnaise down the front of my blouse. And, ooh…wow, they’re working on a conference on Indian education, a neglected area in this very vanilla city. I was so excited to work on this project (“was” being the operative word). Until I found out how unprepared they were in less than 1 ½ months away. Honestly, I don’t expect a whole lot of preparation. But when project managers would rather tell parabolic stories of their bad inner-city relationships than strategically plan a wonderful, awesome conference…I lose all tact. And as much as I want to be on this project, I’m just going to have to let it go. Because I’m tired of being on sinking ships. I’m tired of my name being attached to failed projects just because people don’t listen to me and worship my every piece of advice. (because they should!)
But the truth is that I have my homies back in Tahlequah. I grew up in an area that was supportive of my future and my education. Even when I wanted to leave, an elder told me that it’s important to continue building myself, to gain skills that can help our people even if I don’t come back anytime soon. And I took that to heart. And I’m not about to let fuckers take that away from me; I don’t care if they are Indians in Indiana. If you’re not happy with this state’s approach to Indian education, change it. I hate to be so evil about this. But if you’re going to play a victim, then only plan on being victimized.
There is all this talk about victimization. About city representatives that don’t care. About being an overlooked minority. About casino money being split between WASPS instead of reservations. I AM TIRED OF BEING CONSIDERED A VICTIM OF SOCIETY. Respect yo’self. If we think we have a right to education, land and money, then claim it. Stop acting like a victim and act with entitlement and privilege. Even if we don’t have a dime to spare to our cousin for gasoline, we can at least pretend like we’re entitled to what we are owed.
Be a coyote. Be a trickster. Learn the system and beat it from the inside out.
So, no, I am not going to be a part of your conference. And, no, I’m not going to act like the world owes me something. I’m going to claim it. Asquadvhi, golagi nigesvna!
Can I tell you how excited I was to meet a Potawatomie from Oklahoma last week? On the same day I spilled mayonnaise down the front of my blouse. And, ooh…wow, they’re working on a conference on Indian education, a neglected area in this very vanilla city. I was so excited to work on this project (“was” being the operative word). Until I found out how unprepared they were in less than 1 ½ months away. Honestly, I don’t expect a whole lot of preparation. But when project managers would rather tell parabolic stories of their bad inner-city relationships than strategically plan a wonderful, awesome conference…I lose all tact. And as much as I want to be on this project, I’m just going to have to let it go. Because I’m tired of being on sinking ships. I’m tired of my name being attached to failed projects just because people don’t listen to me and worship my every piece of advice. (because they should!)
But the truth is that I have my homies back in Tahlequah. I grew up in an area that was supportive of my future and my education. Even when I wanted to leave, an elder told me that it’s important to continue building myself, to gain skills that can help our people even if I don’t come back anytime soon. And I took that to heart. And I’m not about to let fuckers take that away from me; I don’t care if they are Indians in Indiana. If you’re not happy with this state’s approach to Indian education, change it. I hate to be so evil about this. But if you’re going to play a victim, then only plan on being victimized.
There is all this talk about victimization. About city representatives that don’t care. About being an overlooked minority. About casino money being split between WASPS instead of reservations. I AM TIRED OF BEING CONSIDERED A VICTIM OF SOCIETY. Respect yo’self. If we think we have a right to education, land and money, then claim it. Stop acting like a victim and act with entitlement and privilege. Even if we don’t have a dime to spare to our cousin for gasoline, we can at least pretend like we’re entitled to what we are owed.
Be a coyote. Be a trickster. Learn the system and beat it from the inside out.
So, no, I am not going to be a part of your conference. And, no, I’m not going to act like the world owes me something. I’m going to claim it. Asquadvhi, golagi nigesvna!
posted by anarchic at 9:43 AM
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