Memorandum of Understanding
Dear Mr. Chode with the Buttcut:
Thank you for choosing to sit behind me instead of in front of me with your horrific haircut and monster of a six-year-old. Speaking of six-year-olds, do you realize that this is a R-rated horror movie that would scar most children his age? This isn’t a typical horror movie wherein large werewolves jump through windows to attack innocent victims for 1.5 seconds before cutting away to someone screaming. This is a horror movie where strange creatures hide in darkness and feast on brains for two minutes before slipping away in gigantic pools of blood. So probably not a good idea to bring your six-year-old.
On another note, this is a MOVIE THEATRE. Not your living room equipped with a La-Z-Boy and a T.V. dinner tray. In the latter environment, it may be okay to take a few moments away from ridiculing your wife and son in order to make funny little quips about the characters on T.V. But not in a movie theatre where people are, get this, trying to WATCH the movie. Granted, the only penalty is my loud sighs and clearing of my throat. During serious infringements, I may turn around and give you my stink eye. But please for the love of Jebus remember that people are in the theatre. People who care about whether or not plunging out another’s eyes is a fatal wound, or merely a minor Aristotelian type wound that temporarily hinders a future brutal vengeful act.
Thank you for your understanding and compliance.
Heart,
WR
CC:
The bitch who gasps in adoration at the costumes in Phantom of the Opera.
The nimwit who makes loud interpretations of Inherit the Wind to his wife.
The cunt who talks on her cell phone during the ballet
Thank you for choosing to sit behind me instead of in front of me with your horrific haircut and monster of a six-year-old. Speaking of six-year-olds, do you realize that this is a R-rated horror movie that would scar most children his age? This isn’t a typical horror movie wherein large werewolves jump through windows to attack innocent victims for 1.5 seconds before cutting away to someone screaming. This is a horror movie where strange creatures hide in darkness and feast on brains for two minutes before slipping away in gigantic pools of blood. So probably not a good idea to bring your six-year-old.
On another note, this is a MOVIE THEATRE. Not your living room equipped with a La-Z-Boy and a T.V. dinner tray. In the latter environment, it may be okay to take a few moments away from ridiculing your wife and son in order to make funny little quips about the characters on T.V. But not in a movie theatre where people are, get this, trying to WATCH the movie. Granted, the only penalty is my loud sighs and clearing of my throat. During serious infringements, I may turn around and give you my stink eye. But please for the love of Jebus remember that people are in the theatre. People who care about whether or not plunging out another’s eyes is a fatal wound, or merely a minor Aristotelian type wound that temporarily hinders a future brutal vengeful act.
Thank you for your understanding and compliance.
Heart,
WR
CC:
The bitch who gasps in adoration at the costumes in Phantom of the Opera.
The nimwit who makes loud interpretations of Inherit the Wind to his wife.
The cunt who talks on her cell phone during the ballet
posted by anarchic at 10:48 AM
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